February 8, 2009

Joining the Blogworld

Tired of mainstream media monopolising information, news, images, and controlling what you should and shouldn’t read, and what you should and shouldn’t write, and how you should and shouldn’t write, i choose to step into the virtual world of free words. Freedom is never absolute, but at least i have an uncensored voice in this virtual ink medium…where i can say what i want, how i want. Where i seek to join others floating in wordisms, thoughtisms, languageisms and non-isms… Just being who we are and writing what we feel, not worrying about syntax and form and rules and structure. Not bothering whether anyone’s reading, whether anyone’s responding… Just finding space to share our thoughts our feelings our musings on the worlds – within and beyond…

And so, here i am inaugurating my own blog. Not so much out of a desire to be read but more out of a desire to seek free space to express myself… which is why i opt for a non secure, non private blog… so that my words are out there, for anyone to read, absorb, reject; for anyone to dissect, chew, chop, discard. For anyone to think, feel, respond, ignore. It doesn’t matter what you do with my words, i just want to speak to this virtual world. Blogging is a bit like being a radio jockey – you speak to an instrument that doesn’t hear you; you speak to an audience you can’t see… and yet you try to be who you are – unmasked and naked. Easier because they can’t see you; harder because they still are listening to every word you utter, and somewhere somehow forming some sort of judgemental impression, which you don’t care about anyway.

What a strange word is blog! Okay, so it draws its etymology from ‘web log’. But it could have been i-log (internet log), e-log (electronic log), o-log (online log) but they chose blog. Blah-log. Be-log. Better-start-writing-log. Becoming-log. Better-than-silence-log. Blossoming-log. Bending-log. Boundary-breaking-log. Being-log... So here i am, just logging my being in this reality of life, this unreality of existence, this abstraction of the internet….

Like life, the internet is there but not really there. An illusion that manifests in ways we want and ways we do not want; in ways we perceive it and ways we fail to perceive it. Like the oasis, it is an illusion. But the illusion of the oasis is also an illusion. Pain is an illusion. Joy is an illusion. The journey is an illusion. The end is an illusion. But light is not. It is the only reality. The only antidote to the illusion. Except that it’s not only at the end of the tunnel. Because the tunnel is an illusion. When there is no tunnel, the light is everywhere. It has no end, no beginning. It’s all over. To break the illusion of the tunnel is the only way to get out of the tunnel... but what happens when all you see is the long tunnel?

1 comment:

  1. oh shivani,

    i am once more deeply inspired and encouraged by your compassion and fight for justice. as our filipino friends would say "may your tribe increase"!!!!

    hugs, owen